Problem Behavior Dealing With Children At School

1.   Lack of Concentration

Getting distracted is normal for young children but the same can prove to be a major problem when they grow up and are unable to concentrate on academics and school work. Lack of concentration among children or an inability to focus on the task at hand is a common concern that many parents have.

 Therefore, the tendency of children to have a lower attention span and lose interest in an activity or object very soon should not be taken lightly. This problem requires to be addressed at the earliest.

Causes 

Being able to concentrate means that children are able to keep their minds focussed on a task for a reasonable period of time.

The period of time does not have to be too long. Almost everyone stops concentrating after a while — no matter what they are doing. We all need to take a break to help re-focus our concentration.

Therefore, normally the causes for lack of concentration among children include common grounds such as fatigue, improper diet and unhealthy eating habits, inability of teachers and parents to create interest in the subjects, etc.

Solutions and Management

Lack of concentration is both a medical and behavioral problem and needs expert guidance

Do not force hyperactive children to sit for a long time. Make the children study at intervals planned by you.

Give positive reinforcement whenever hyperactive children are quiet or under conscious direction and start a reward system for every abidance. Create short-term goals for the children so that they can realise more successes, and find activities which will absorb the need to be hyperactive.

Avoid asking questions to children as to why they have not been able to finish their homework in two hours. This does not mean that the behavior should be condoned. Treat such acts as a temporary lack of self-control. Instead, set a target to achieve within a particular time frame and keep inquiring where the children have reached.

If the subject or topic that children are reading is dull, then add interesting facts from your side and ask questions. Make it an interesting session by changing the method from monotonous mugging to games like quizzes on the topic or rapid fire rounds.

See to it that children are not hungry or sleepy while studying. In case, they are make them take some snacks or a nap.

Give children the value of ownership of the work. Let them feel that they are studying for themselves and not performing any duty or chore for their parents.

Tell them not to study just with the purpose of avoiding shame or humiliation if not done well. Ask them to study for their own benefit.

You can also team your children up with a better performer in class. Ask your children to pick up good studying habits and methods from such a student and set goals to slowly reach his/her level and then beat him/her. Healthy competition is an excellent motivator.

Invest your confidence in your student. Even if they are not succeeding, keep telling them that you have absolute faith in their abilities and they will do well if they try. Do not ever humiliate or put down children. It will be a great loss on their self esteem.

Inculcate positive thinking in your children. Help them to think better about themselves.

Make children learn relaxation and meditation. If their mind gets too crowded, ask them to take a mental break. Tell them to stop thinking about everything and meditate. They could simply think of a calmer scene and relax their mind.

Have the children keep a chart of how many times you have corrected them. Try role playing in a private conference. Switch roles with the children. Let you become hyperactive and let the children become the parents. This will allow them to observe how their hyperactivity appears to others.

2.   Lack of Confidence

Children suffering from diffidence withdraw into themselves and find very little joy in their world. They generally suffer from low self-esteem which can make life much more difficult for them.


Children who have low self-esteem may not want to try new things. They hesitate and frequently speak negatively about themselves. They exhibit a low tolerance for frustration, giving up easily or waiting for somebody else to take over or lead them through difficult situations. Children with low self-esteem perceive temporary setbacks as permanent, intolerable conditions. These children are always dominated by a sense of pessimism and hopelessness.

But this is not the problem faced by a few children. Lack of confidence affects these children to the point that it becomes difficult for them to study properly in schools for fear of failure, or from particular teachers. They do not take part in co-curricular activities such as sports and games for fear of physical injury or out of sheer shyness.

Causes 

Lack of confidence is a behavioral problem. When there is an imbalance in the combination of feelings of capability with feelings of being loved in children, a poor self-esteem is the result. Children who are happy with their achievements but do not feel loved may eventually have to deal with emotions of low self-esteem. Likewise, children who feel loved but are hesitant about their own abilities can also end up feeling low about themselves.

Therefore, the upbringing of children plays an important role in determining whether they are going to grow up as confident and self-assured individuals or not.

Solutions and Management

Children who have a healthy self-esteem tend to enjoy interacting with others. They are gregarious, comfortable in social settings and enjoy group activities as well as independent pursuits. They are also willing to pursue new interests. When challenges arise, these children are able to work towards finding solutions. They voice discontent without belittling themselves or others.

Help children build the inner strength to cope with life's ups and downs as they grow lies with the parents. Good parenting can make a lot of difference by way of building the confidence of your toddlers.

You need to express love and tell your children, as often as possible, that you care for them. You can do this in several ways. One of the best ways is to have a chat with them. Talking together gives the message that you enjoy your children's company. Another way of showing your affection to them is by listening to them. This shows your children that you find them interesting and worth listening to. Sometimes it is advisable to join in your toddlers’ games.

While praising your children for succeeding in an effort is important, appreciation should be expressed for the efforts and attempts too.

Encouraging children to do their daily chores like managing buttons or putting on their own clothes independently gives a great boost to their self-esteem. You should, however, be ready to step in if they get into difficulties and feel frustrated. But avoid solving every problem for them.

You can help children feel they can exert some control over the world by providing choices to them. For example, you can ask your children to choose their own clothes or which book they would like to read with you.

Try to avert disasters that can lead to loss of confidence in your children, or bring in tempers and tears to them. The over-confidence shown by some children can falter quite quickly if they constantly fail at all the things they try. Therefore, you need to stay one step ahead.

Never forget to emphasise the good points in your children and ignore any annoying behaviour as much as possible.

Since the ability to make friends and get on well with others plays a big role in building self-esteem, teachers and parents need to take an active interest in encouraging friendships with other children.

3.   Quiet and Shy Behavior 

Quiet and shy behavior afflict many children at some time in their lives. It is natural for children to feel awkward, reticent, uneasy, or disoriented in situations that are new, frightening, or overwhelming in some manner. Some children experience a phase of shyness during pre-school years in situations where they feel outnumbered. Children respond shyly to new situations until they have warmed up. This warming up may take minutes, hours, or multiple experiences with the new situation.

But, in some extreme cases, shyness prevents a child even from regular conduct of study in school or from participating in family get-togethers. Shy children remain silent or look only at the ground around unfamiliar people or in new situations, even when they are encouraged to speak. They refuse to enter a new setting such as a classroom without being accompanied by a parent. They find it difficult to participate in athletic or dance activities. They go to great lengths to avoid calling attention to them. Shy children do not interact with strange persons or situations because of their fear although they look forward to it.

There are, however, a different category of children who choose solitary over social activities by preference and not out of fear. This class of children is called introverts. Introverts show little or no interest in observing others and little or no excitement when approached by others. Introversion is a trait of human personality.

Causes  

Life experiences also play a major role in shaping shyness among children. When children are faced with a situation that may lead them to feel shy, the manner in which they deal with that situation can shape their future reactions to similar situations.

Shyness among children can also be caused due to low attachment bond between parents and children. It can be a result of poor acquisition of social skills by the children.

And finally, harsh and frequent teasing or criticising of children by the parents, siblings, or others has very adverse effects on them. This aggravates their shy behaviour. Introversion is, however, a trait of personality and can not be altered fully. These children, however, can be given counselling to teach them ways to overcome drawbacks of introversion.

Solutions and Management

Extreme shyness among children can be overcome by changing the parents’ interactions with them. Try to prevent labeling of your child as “shy.” Children who are told that they are shy tend to start thinking of them as shy and then fulfill the role, without making any effort to change.

Expose children to unfamiliar settings and people. A gradual exposure of shy children to interactions with unfamiliar people helps them to build confidence. Involve children in a group activity that they enjoy, such as a library programme if they like reading, a dance class if they enjoy dancing or a science day camp if they like science.

Tell the children about your own stories about times when you were shy and how you got rid of it. Reward the children for outgoing behaviour either with praise or something which they like but is not usually served to them. The above also apply to introvert children.

4.   Irresponsible Behavior

Display of irresponsible behavior by the children of today is a very common problem that parents are facing. Children react with irresponsible behavior like backtalk, stubbornness, or anger against every rule that parents lay down.

So children present their problem or request repeatedly in the hopes that their parents will give in and respond to it. Often, as they launch into their explanation for the third or fourth time, the children and the parent will both get more frustrated until it ends up in an argument or a shouting match.

If the exhibition of irresponsible behavior by the children is not nipped at the bud, it may take a serious turn as backtalk often metamorphoses to verbal abuses, like saying hurtful or harmful things, anger, and shouting.

Causes  

Irresponsible behaviour like backtalk comes from a sense of powerlessness and frustration. People do not like to feel powerless, and that includes children also. So when kids are denied something they feel like something has been taken from them. They often feel compelled to fill that empty space with backtalk.

Children often end up with irresponsible behaviour when parents fail to lay down some ground rules much earlier. When children do not know exactly what is expected of them, they react with disobedience.

In addition to this, if parents do not remain consistent with their ground rules, children are likely to disobey them and create a fuss.

Solutions and Management

Teach children to show responsible behavior when they are expected to. The earlier you start giving training to the children, the better it is for the children to get used to positive behavior. Backtalk leading to verbal abuse is a very negative behavior and has to be dealt with aggressively and up front.

The first and foremost thing to do is to stop responding to backtalk. Once you have set the limit, they have already won the argument.

Teacher, however, see it as their job to respond to their students — to teach, train and set limits on them. And backtalk is an invitation to do just that, although, it is not a rational mindset.

Parents sometimes see backtalk as a challenge to their authority. But as long as they accomplish their objective, the fact is that their authority is fully intact.

As a parent your job is not to get your child to accept the reasonableness and rationality of your decisions. You just need them to follow the rules.

Once this is done, parents can concentrate on following the ground rules instead of trying to achieve children’s acceptance. For example, the first rule can be, “I’ll explain something once and I’m not going to talk more after that. If you try to argue or debate, I’m going to walk away. If you follow me or if you continue there will be consequences.”

Because rules and regulations are for your children’s development and safety, your job is to set the rules and enforce them. Whether they like them or not, they have to learn to live with them as a lesson on discipline.

 5.   Bullying

While bullying is an issue that many children deal with and even accept as part of a normal childhood, doctors, researchers, and psychologists see it as “systematic abuse” that leads to the deterioration of school climate and culture serious psychological problems in those who are victimized, and devastating violence in schools that are affected.

The characteristics of those who bully vary from a marginalized boy who bullies because he has low self-esteem to a group of very popular, smart girls who socially isolate a former group member because she didn’t conform. Sometimes it is an individual who is doing the bullying and sometimes it is a group. The important thing is not the action but the effect on the victim. No-one should ever underestimate the fear that a bullied child feels.


Causes 

Most victims do not do anything to receive the unwanted attention of a bully. These victims tend to be quiet, shy, and timid. They are often chosen because they look like they wouldn't retaliate against the bully or stand up for themselves. If they don't take action against the bully after the first encounter, then similar actions are often repeated by the bully. Children who become victims also tend to lack friends, social support, and self-confidence.

Some children are bullied because they are different. They might be bullied because they are of a certain religion or because of the color of their skin. They may be bullied because of the way they talk, their size, or even because of their name.

Although most victims do not do anything to provoke being bullied, there is a small group of children who are bullied because of their actions. Some of these actions may include annoying, inappropriate, or immature social behaviors. They tend to be spontaneous and generally have poor social skills.

Solutions and Management

Increased Supervision

According to Espelage, most school bullying happens in areas where there is limited adult supervision. Some of these areas may include lunchtime, passing periods, bathroom breaks, and recess.

Provide Effective Consequences to Bullies

If consequences are not meaningful and effective, then the bully will have no reason not to repeat the unwanted behaviors.

Good Communication Between Teachers and Parents

If there is an open line of communication between teachers, parents, and even administrators, problems will be solved more efficiently. Many students are afraid to report to teachers that they are being bullied. If a teacher or administrator is not aware of the problem, they cannot work towards a solution.

Empower Students to be Courageous Bystanders

Teachers can teach their students how to act in a situation where someone is being bullied. They can be taught to approach the bully as a group, abstain from reinforcing the bully's behavior with laughter, or to invite the bully to take part in another activity in order to divert their attention away from the victim and make them feel accepted within a group of their peers.